puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
