A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize