If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently you make a good broom.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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