just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
