Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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