There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
