I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
