it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
