So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
