How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
