Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
