Can i not drive my cunt home
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
