U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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