physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
