i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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