that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
