Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
