There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
