I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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