There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
