im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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