Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
