Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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