They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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