Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
