I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
