I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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