This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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