just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
