is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
