so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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