my mouth tastes like poor choices
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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