i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How's work?
Spinning.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
