im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
