she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
