her vagine was all disorganized.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
