You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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