Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
