oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Boobs speak an international language.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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