why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
