I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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