On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I love you.
Bad choice
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