I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
