Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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