I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
