It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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