I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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