I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
