We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
