I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
